i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
