i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
