Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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