I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
