do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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