Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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