Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
