I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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