so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
