She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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