Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
