Who wears a wallet chain?!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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