No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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