Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
