it hurts more in the daytime
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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