I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
