She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so let's talk penis.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
