Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic