I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
