I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize