Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
