I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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