This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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