I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
