It's just like the Real World with babies
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
