Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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