i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
