And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
