btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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