i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
