im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
