as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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