I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
