Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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