you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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