Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think my moral compass just broke
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