Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
