grandma shit on top of the toilet
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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