After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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