she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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