Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
