You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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