so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
