he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
