Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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