dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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