i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
