Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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