Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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