We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
