I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize