What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
