you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
