you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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