Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
