Having a random hookup so left but love u
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
