Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
