So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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