He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can't special order awesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
