Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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