Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
