let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
