Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
