Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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