it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
